10 Things To Do When You (finally) Have Some Time To Yourself

Hello! This is going to be a quick one, but it is something I have been meaning to share for so long and just never did. I have a list of 10 things to do when you (finally) have some time to yourself. (Now, I am not saying this is only for the Mammas, but if you know a Mamma, chances are she could use this list. Please share it. If she says she doesn’t have time to “read some stupid blog”, she definitely needs this list of 10 things to do when you (finally) have some time to yourself! Believe me.)

You know how it goes? Thoughts of ‘Who would want to read that?’ and ‘Who cares?’ have a weird double life going on.

On the one hand, ‘Who would want to read that?’ gets a a flippant answer like, ‘Literally, no one.’ (sometimes with the added jab of a mumbled ‘you idiot’) and ‘Who cares?’ gets a ‘Yeah, you’re right. What’s the point? Why bother?’ in reply.

However, I have been silencing my inner jerkball and as an exercise in following through, I have decided that this teensy post on self care deserves to see the light of day.

Besides, I know for a fact that at least two-thirds of my tens of readers probably need this list right this very minute.

The Holidays are upon us and they can be so wonderful and they can also be so completely overwhelming.

I am hoping you remember to put yourself on your list. I am reminding you that self care is as simple as taking 5 minutes to yourself. You do not require a lot of money or stuff. You do not need a spa day. Maybe a nice hand cream slathered on in silence will do.

Oh, I am not saying I would turn down an escape to a Nordic Spa or Seaside resort. I mean. Let’s be real. What I am saying is that while spectacular, those things are not necessary.

So pay yourself a bit of respect, show yourself some love, and give yourself some good old fashioned TLC.

Not sure where to start? (This is why it is good to have your very own personal Peady*. Ha ha!)

I have thought about this a lot over the years and while I still have difficulty following through on some things, I am getting better at taking time for myself to cover basics and now and then, when something fancy schmancy comes along, I don’t let those opportunities pass me by!

Here you go!

1. Have a glass of wine.
2. Read a trashy magazine.
3. Clean your brain out by reading one chapter of a very serious Oprah-type book. : )
4. REEEELAX.
5. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT DISHES OR LAUNDRY.
6. Go to the movies or rent a good one.
7. Eat something chocolate.
8. Order dinner in!!
9. Have a long bubble bath with candles and good music.
10. Do your nails!

How’s that?

By the way, this list of 10 things to do when you (finally) have some time to yourself is a list that I have e-mailed to friends in the past. Quite a while ago now. If you are one of them, I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment and tell me if you actually did any of the things. 😀

Now go and be nice to yourself!

big squeezy hugs

 

Don’t you *love Sandra Boynton?!?

 

Get Me Through December … I Promise I’ll Remember.

Hello my sweet, beautiful, kind, generous, funny, feisty, friends!

I am going to tell you something. I have considered that maybe, just maybe, my telling you things somehow stops me from following through on these things, but that is not really accurate or logical or fair. That weirdness is a complex algorithm in my own brain that I will one day resolve … or untangle … or nail down, but until then I am asking you to help me with something. Get me through December. I promise I’ll remember. Get me through December, so I can start again. (Seriously, how amazing is Get Me Through December? It is an Alison Krauss song. I seriously love it. I especially love this version with Natalie MacMaster. It reminds me of my mother … and of course Cape Breton. That is *always a good thing, even if it is a little bit of a sad thing. You know? Anyhoo … I am going somewhere here … )

I think–no, I know–that habits can be gained and lost and changed and adapted and the only factor that makes any of those things happen is a decision followed by some immediate action. I know this because this year one of the best things I did was to look myself square in the eye and say, “You deserve to be healthy and happy. Now it is time for you to do things to make that a reality. You know what to do.”. It became a habit. Now healthy choices are what I fall back to. Most of the time, even. Imagine that!

So, I have fallen out of some habits and I miss them. Writing used to be a habit. A habit. I did it all the time. Then a bunch of stuff happened and I suddenly felt squelched and silenced and it sucked (I would use a nicer word, but this word is as apt as any and as this is me using my voice, Imma choose SUCK y’all. Look at me bossing my throat chakras* around, will ya!?)

Anyway, I love to write. I think I am a good writer and I want to do more of it. I want to write here, there, and everywhere and I want to use my voice to make the world a better place. I know that sounds like a lofty goal, but what the hell is the point of having a goal if it isn’t lofty? I mean, we are trying to raise the bar here, right? We want to elevate ourselves … our health … our happiness … our situation … our impact … our financial freedom … our vibration in this world … right? So, lofty goals, it is!

I will be seeking opportunities to write more from now on and I will continue to use this space to share thoughts and things I feel are of value. I also want to write about things that you value, that you are curious about, or stuff that is just plain fun.

I will 100% be talking more about health and wellness. It matters to me.

I want to do a bit more video in 2020. Whether that comes by way of a vlog or “LIVE”s via Facebook or Instagram, remains to be seen, but I am no longer afraid, intimidated, or worried about what people might think, so I am going to do it.

I am very seriously considering starting a podcast. (WHAT?) (Yeah. I know.) I am though. Look, if my friend Mike (HI MIKE!) can have like, what?–73 podcasts all on his own, I am certain I can handle one. Maybe Mike will just give me one of his if I ask nicely. Hmm. (Ooooh! I wonder if Chip Off The Old Block comes with free salty snacks … but I digress …)

My point here is that I am not supposed to not do things just because not doing things is what I have had minimal success doing in the past … I am meant to do lots of good things. Aren’t we all?

We have ONE shot at life on this planet. Shouldn’t we make the most of that one shot while we have the chance?

No pressure. I don’t think all the people need to do all the things. I just feel like I am supposed to do more of the things I am good at and that NOW is when I need to start doing them.

What do you think of that? I’d love to know!

Now, seriously people! I am asking you to do me a favour. Get me through December. I promise I’ll remember. Get me through December, so I can start again.

 

*That was for my friend Tina in case she reads this. (HI TINA!)

My Word for 2019. Or … ACTION – I Wanna Live!

Never mistake motion for action. ~ Ernest Hemingway

Full disclosure: I started this post on January 2nd (though it is currently January 4th) and because this is my blog I can change the date to January 2, so I did. Why? Well, the reason is twofold. a) See the aforementioned “MY blog” 🤓 and b) because I want to have a post for everyday this month and since I have been writing, starting something new, trying to learn a couple of new things, busy with back to school after a big break stuff, reading actual books, and if I may be frank, actually DOING things, I figured it was okay. Okay? Are we cool? Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. 

In case you haven’t figured it out yet or didn’t see my official announcement on Instagram as I was ringing in the New Year (Are you not following me there? Why not?! I am pretty fun. Go follow me now. It’s okay. I’ll wait right here.) I have decided to choose another word for 2019. I chose two in 2018 and you know what? I never did make it back here to write about them, but I did take them to heart and I think they were helpful.

Last year’s words were “Focus & Flourish” (written just like that) and I would write them down in places I knew I would be glancing throughout the day. My awesome kitchen chalkboard frame thing? Oh yeah! It was totally written there. It stayed there for a good long time, too. I really needed the reminder.  It isn’t that anything magical happened, but in a way a lot of great things happened. They may have been tricky to see through a pretty big dose of ick, but if I am being objective (and I am) there were many fun, nice, practical, and people-centric things that happened last year, in real life, that were good.

So, in the interest of putting my new word to good use right off the bat, I give you my word for 2019. Ta daa!

So …

Do you choose a word for the year? Something to help you focus on a goal or a more mindful way of living? I’d love to hear about it.

Feel free to share your word and your reasons for choosing it in the comments. (I love comments! AND! I love responding to them because I know what a rare treat they can be and I understand that commenters are choosing to spend their time here with me. I like being heard and I like letting others know they have been heard. It matters. You matter. Thank you for commenting.)

 

 

 

 

Fuller disclosure: It is now Saturday and I am about to hit publish. The post will still have a date  of January 2, 2019. C’est la vie! 

Credit where credit is due: Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

Saturdays Are Best: Podcast Edition

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones are you really into these days? What topics interest you?

Podcasts are wonderful. I love them. They are excellent for when I am working and need the exact right level of distraction. They’re great for listening to when your eyes just need a break from the work of the day. They can be used to motivate, encourage, and inspire. A good podcast will have you smiling, nodding in agreement, and occasionally talking back to the podcaster who – let’s be clear, here – can not hear you. The best ones will most definitely leave you thinking.

If you have been wanting to get into a good podcast and weren’t sure where to start or what the heck you should be listening to, fear not! I am here for you.

I have found myself listening to a lot of podcasts lately and I definitely lean towards the ones that are uplifting, cheerful, happy, or helpful. I also love to learn new things, so if there is an educational component, of course, I appreciate that, too.

I find podcasts that are about 30 minutes in length are just about perfect for me. I can almost always find 25-30 minutes (give or take) to listen. A half an hour is also a great length for people who listen on their commutes. Obviously lots of people have much longer commutes, but mine is super short and even if someone is taking transit from the burbs to downtown Halifax, for example, it isn’t too much longer than 30 or so minutes. Regardless, I enjoy a nice, crispy, short, podcast.

In fact, some of my very favourite episodes are super short bonus type episodes. Some little golden nuggets that simply must be shared by the podcaster. Despite the fact that I am loquacious by nature, I appreciate succinct things. It’s true. I do.

So if you are a podcaster or are thinking of starting a podcast, know that those little nuggets are a good idea. Definitely keep that up (or include it).

I prefer shorter podcasts, but don’t get me wrong, there are a few I enjoy that are far from short. I’m cool with people’s artistic choices. I might suggest, in the most respectful of ways, that it’s okay to spread some content out, though, to have parts or miniseries when your topic is just too darn amazing to contain to one episode.

I’m here for it. Really. I promise I will come back and listen to the second, third (and possibly, fourth, fifth, and sixth, parts.) (You know who you are.)

Without further ado, I give you a list (in no particular order) of some of my favourite podcasts to actually listen to from beginning to end on a regular basis.

Riding in Cars with Cats by OneRedCat Media

3 Books with Neil Pasricha

The Quote of the Day Show with Sean Croxton

Distraction with Dr. Ned Hallowell

WTF with Marc Maron

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Changing the Narrative

Under the Influence

I have listened to five of the podcasts listed above today (several episodes of each, actually) and will spend some time catching up on the longer ones on Sunday.

So, what do you think of my lineup? I’d love it if you took a bit of time to check these podcasts out and let me know what you think. Also, if you have the time, I’d love to hear what you are listening to these days. If you’d like to share your favourite podcasts in the comments that would be great. Go for it!

I hope you have had a spectacular Saturday. Here’s to a sunny Sunday!

 

 

Credit where credit is due: Photo by Yingchou Han on Unsplash

Signs

Well, hello there!

Are you still here?

Wow!

You are a really kind person.

Thank you for that.

I sincerely appreciate your presence.

Obviously, I have been absent from this space for quite some time, but you know what? I miss it. I miss you. I miss this space. I miss being able to simply pop in and say hello, share a part of my day, ask how you’ve been, and wait in quiet contemplation and anticipation for any sign of life.

So thank you for all the times you have swung by.

I am eternally grateful for your silent support. I am also grateful for your LOUD support.

I’m not picky.

Fire: bad. Bread: bad. Support: good.

So maybe I needed a sign.

Maybe I needed to seek one.

Maybe the sign I was looking for was so blatantly obvious that I couldn’t see it.

Sometimes we see what we want and it seems so far away when what we need is sitting right in front of us.

It’s like lusting after a pair of Louboutin’s when what you really long for is a wicked cozy pair of fuzzy slippers.

One might make people go “Wow!”, but will it make you go “Wow!”? No. No it won’t. Well, I suppose I can only speak for myself, but one of those would make me go “Oww!” not “Wow!” and is simply not my style, so why bother? I can’t afford the shoes or to waste a single second of my very limited and precious time on this planet trying to make someone else go “Wow!”. Can you?

Allow me.

No. No you can’t.

So …

All this to say, thank you for reading.

I hope you continue to stick around.

I have vowed to post every day in November with the hopes of getting my groove back and forming a new and improved writing habit.

My sign?

November is National Blog Posting Month. (This is where, if we were cartoons, an anvil – or perhaps an old timey typewriter – would fall on my head.)

Yup.

That – in conjunction with a few other doozies from the Universe – is most definitely a sign.

Do you believe in signs? Does the Universe speak to you?

Feel free to tell me a ‘signs from the Universe’ story in the comments. You know I’ll be replying because the Universe told me I have to be here every day in November. It’d be awesome to have something to do. 😉

 

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

Motivation Monday {Silly Saves Me Edition}

It will come as a surprise to no one that I have been having a bit of trouble feeling motivated lately, but this morning I am feeling determined to be the one in control of my feelings – and some other stuff, too. Motivation has come home and, much like the prodigal son, I will embrace it and feed it and give it its old room back, and cherish it like never before in hopes that my appreciation for its return will have some big returns for me! Yay, motivation!This is how I operate apparently, so I had better learn to live with it*, right?I am not leaving this laptop without hitting publish. (Because motivation makes me make promises to myself and motivation also makes me keep those promises. Isn’t motivation rad, you guys?)This will be an extremely short post, but I feel like I am in a rip-the-band-aid-off sit’i’ation and I just have to hit publish. This will hurt me more than it will hurt you. Believe me.My point is, I have so much to say and so many ideas and they have just been stagnating, or being forgotten – because of course I won’t remember that great post idea if I don’t have a pen (mine!) and paper (also, mine!) to write it down in a way that will make sense to me at a later more convenient time! I am busy, distracted, worried for the world. Kids come with outside obligations that require my attention. I have to make dinner. I haven’t had coffee yet… You know? ALL the things that everyone faces pretty much every day and somehow manages to live with.Yeah. When the normal stuff of life gets in the way of happy-go-lucky  I am not – wait for it – happy-go-lucky! I do not like that.So I am fixing it little by little and right about now, just after I rip off this bandaid, I will have fixed it just a little bit more. Thank you for your patience and sense of humour. I am happy you stuck around.My tens of readers are actually extremely important to me. I appreciate you.So, while I work out the rest of my day, this week, this month, an editorial calendar that will bring me back here more often, and my entire life going forward**, I will leave you with this beautiful motivational quote.

You can tell it is inspirational*** because it is a nature photo and there are words on it.

That’s all it takes, right? 😉

How are you holding up? No really. I’m asking. How’s your motivation these days? I know I am not the only one who feels the way I do.

What do you do every day, week or month to keep your motivation revved up? What do you do to spark it if ever it drops?

You should know that Thing 2 just walked in my room *juuuust as I started that second sentence with pen (mine!) and paper (math test) saying, “Sign.”. I replied, “You’re interrupting me.” and explained further, “If you enter my room and see me very obviously trying to do something with this (points to face) look on my face, please do not make demands. Leave your things for now and I’ll sign them momentarily, but going forward this is not ok.”

So, I’d like my adulting sticker and a gold star, now, please and thank you.

**No pressure.

***Source: Deviant Art.****

****Full disclosure! Inspiration for this inspiration: A silly, yet completely honest, conversation on Saturday with a dear friend wherein I succinctly ahem nailed my annoyance with certain habits of certain online presences.

 

Five Fun Facts For Friday February Fifth

Hi!

How are you?

Missed you!

Love you lots!

What’s new?

I have been crazy-busy and I haven’t been managing it very well.

However, I am a smart person and one of my strengths is knowing my limits. That is a very good thing. In the spirit of self preservation I allowed myself to not post here. (I was still posting there, and everywhere else, mind you. What am I crazy?!? Of course I was still posting. You should just go ahead and follow me in all the places that way when stuff happens you will know where to find me. You never know when you might need a little dose of silly and I carry it with me wherever I go. Picture a little jar of glitter or cupcake sprinkles. Yeah. Like that! I am armed and ridiculous. So… find me. We have all the ways to connect. Connect, people!)

December was when my last post went live.

Suddenly that seems very, very, long ago.

Meh.

In the grand scheme of things it’s not.

Anyhoo!

Here I am. Hi! waves

It’s Friday and I am happy and life is good. I have lots to be grateful for and I am really looking forward to the weekend!

This is my Birthday Week and since Monday was kind of a ridiculous day (notice a theme?) we are having a bit of a do-over before next week begins. The plan is to go out for burgers with the Things and then maybe catch a movie. (Ooh! That reminds me. I have to pick up movie admissions at Costco. That is quite the savings, isn’t it? I love Costco.) I know we’ll have fun! Who wouldn’t have fun with M&Ms in the giant bag of popcorn?

All this to say, all’s well. I’ll write more. I will.

I have plans.

So, without further ado, here are Five* Fun Facts For Friday February Fifth!

1. Once again, for the third (?!?!) time since starting Tempered With Kindness, I have a new blog host. (This, in part, is why I have been reluctant to publish here.)
2. It is Black History Month and there is a new Heritage Minute featuring none other than Nova Scotia’s own Viola Desmond. You learned all about her here, remember? Check out the new Heritage Minute here.
3. I still do not have my 2016 Mom CPU! Oy. Not good. I cannot find one anywhere. Someone suggested ordering one online in January and that seemed silly because how long would it take to arrive, blah, blah, blah… it’s just a simple calendar… I’m sure I’ll be able to pick one up. How hard can it be to find a big magnetic Mother Word calendar for my fridge?! Well who’s the silly one now?! Derp. You all must have the exact calendar I want because there are exactly ZERO in my orbit. harumphs
4. I have once again resurrected my CD collection and this time I am on a mission to keep them in my space. They need a proper storage solution, mind you, and I am accepting suggestions on this front. Do you have a CD collection? How do you keep them? Are they out of sight, out of mind or welcome in your world?
5. I was featured in a BuzzFeedNews listicle (Great word, Joe!) and I almost died laughing about it. You can check it out here and in 14-16 months you are welcome to come shopping with me at Halifax’s new IKEA and we can BUY ALL THE FLEUFEGNUUGEN! Deal?

Thanks for reading and sharing and engaging. You are all my favourite!

Happy Friday!

Have you read any fun facts lately? Have any to share? Feel free to leave a fun fact in the comments. I will respond to every single one with another fun fact. We will all be so smart by the end of these shenanigans!

*Bonus fun fact: I love Frente! (The exclamation point is part of their name. What’s not to love?) Best Bizarre Love Triangle cover ever.

**Extra bonus fun fact: That first fact up there just will not format properly and I want to throw a tantrum. I am going to hit publish instead. Grr! shakes fist in technology’s general direction

Five Worthy Causes For Your Kind Consideration On Giving Tuesday

Today is Giving Tuesday.

What’s Giving Tuesday?

Well think of it as the Black Friday (or Cyber Monday) of charity.

Giving Tuesday is like “opening day of the giving season.”

It is a day to think about others and to take advantage of a doubling of your dollars because many charitable organizations have a “matching” sponsor. This means that you literally double your donation in some cases.

Give $20 and your organization receives $40.

Donate $50 and voila $100 goes to your favourite fund.

How cool is that?

You can learn more about Giving Tuesday here (please do!) but I want to quickly share with you a handful of my favourite organizations, in case you want to make a donation before midnight!

Free The Children – Free The Children is the brainchild of Craig and Marc Keilburger and you can read all about how they founded this amazing organization and the subsequent We, Me To We, and We Day awesomeness here.

David Suzuki Foundation – I have been a fan of David Suzuki for as long as I can remember. A few years back, he actually stepped down as the head of his own foundation to take attention away from his own struggles with a government that seemed determined to paint him as a radical. Oh! He’s radical alright! Radically awesome!

World Wildlife Foundation (Canada) – I hope you know about WWF Canada, for the love of our planet. This organization is famous for its symbolic wildlife adoptions (which make fabulous gifts for Things of all ages), Earth Hour, and many other initiatives. I wear my feelings for WWF Canada on my sleeve and I make no apologies for it. I wrote a guest blog way back when. I have written about it here on my blog and also here. We have one home. It’s the planet we live on. It’s time to show it the respect it deserves, isn’t it?

Because I Am A Girl – I am! You might be. Thing 2 is. My sister is. My mother, too. You either are one, have one or were made by one. Girls matter! Educating girls improves the lives of everyone. BIAAG Canada is taking this knowledge and sharing it around the world. You may have heard about their Pink Lemonade Stands and their using small actions to drive big change initiatives. How wonderful! We are big fans and my face goes all gigantic grin every time Thing 2 emerges from her room in the morning sporting her pink BIAAG T-shirt. “Girls’ rights are human rights.” Your darn right they are!

 

Malala Fund – Oh Malala! What a wonderful human being! If ever there was a person with a higher purpose than she ever could have known, it is Malala Yousafzai. Malala is an education activist and a Nobel Peace Prize recipient. She was in school when the call came that she had won. She told her teacher she would finish her studies for the day. Malala is walking the talk. I am a fan. Her book is beautiful, the children’s adaptation is great, and now there is even a movie!

So, whether you donate, share, learn or do some small act of kindness today you have taken part in Giving Tuesday and you have made a difference.

What you do matters.

I, for one, appreciate it.

Thank you!

BB In The Bucket

Sometimes I just do stuff, you guys.

True story.

It happens.

I don’t always share the stuff I do.

My kids get most of me, you know?

Oh sure! I share a lot of stuff online – here, there, and everywhere – but I don’t share everything.

I think this is worth sharing for two reasons.

1) It’s easily adaptable and anyone can do it.

2) It’s my way of celebrating what I love, without dissing something I dislike.

Ready?

Okay!

Ta daa!

BB in the Bucket

It’s December 4th and look who is here!

It’s BB! But wait. What’s this I hear?

She’s wearing a hat with a sparkly ball

There’s a sparkly scarf too, but that is not all!

BB’s so festive, she’s ready to play

So you’ll have to find her everyday.

There’s only one rule, you must not forget it

Don’t skip it or shun it or you might regret it!

When you spot BB you give her a HUG

You squeeze her and keep her as snug as a bug in a rug.

Yes, Christmastime is the Season of Hope

It’s certainly no time to pout and to mope.

Imagine, you finding such a cute thing

and having to wait and just look at the bling.

Yeesh! That would be awful and terribly bad.

I just can’t believe in something so sad.

So people can keep their elf on the shelf

I’d rather have BB, her wonderful self.

Wouldn’t you?

So, there you have it!

Rumour has it that BB will have a sparkly red hat with a white glittery pompom this year.

No one knows for sure though.

We’ll just have to wait and see because as I said these things just happen.

How do you celebrate Advent?

Do you have a special ritual?

Do your kids enjoy the countdown to Christmas?

How do you spend the days leading up to the Holidays?

*I cleared this with the Things before posting it here. It’s late in the game, now, but this is something you could do at any time of year just for fun. Make stuff up, guys! It’s rad!

Super Fly!

So one night early in November I was sitting here trying to write when I heard the unmistakable sound of a housefly buzzing agains a window.

You know that irritating buzzing and flicking sound?

I loathe that sound.

Anyway, I was here attempting to get a post written and published and the sound, for some reason, was more irritating than usual.

It was the first week of November. The Halloween jack o’lanterns were still on the patio and I had gone outside to turn off a little reusable candle that had been inside Thing 2’s pumpkin.

I got it into my mind that I must have let the fly in then and that it had to be a super icky kind of fly. Maybe the kind of fly that enjoys hanging out with decomposing gourds. The kind of fly the might have been Jeff Goldblum in another life.

Oh my gourd!

It was grossing me out.

You know how sometimes you can habituate a noise or a pest?

Yeah? Well I don’t because that flipping fly was going to drive me mad.

It was him or me.

It was being bold. At the very least it could not be allowed to stay in my bedroom. I’d never sleep. Yuck!

My poor husband was none the wiser (Poirot was on), but that damn fly was buzzing around him as he slept. I couldn’t let that happen. So I jumped up and quickly turned off the lamp on his bedside table.

Now my desk lamp was the only source of light (aside from the glow of the TV and my monitor) and you know what obnoxious flying insects love? They just can’t seem to get enough of light sources. Especially light sources with boxy shades so they can bounce off as many surfaces as possible and thusly gross out their unsuspecting human hosts.

I tried to shoo it away and do you know what that fly did? It flew right at my head!

Inside my head, my brain screamed, ” Oh no you didn’t!”

There was but one choice.

I needed hairspray.

Don’t tell me I’m the only one.

I can’t be the only one!

In the end I bested the demonic creature.

Then I laughed out loud because I am fairly certain that I must have looked at least a little bit like this.

We all have our straws.

What drives you a little bit (or a lot) crazy?

Source